My Hilarious View On Winter Fashion 2017

How does winter fashion 2017 look like? In other words, how will you and me walk in the streets over the coming months if it depends on the designers? A naughty overview.

This Winter fashion is surprisingly decent. Too decent to my taste, or rather, very wearable. Comfort and wearability come first. No radical outliers this time – with a few exceptions – let’s have a closer look, shall we?

Preferably no temperatures below zero in this outfit of Alberta Ferretti. I do have a natural tendency to be cold. However, there’s one thing I am willing to do. I’ve decided to swap my steel horse (car) for a white steed. So, traffic jams don’t bother me anymore. Just the signs associated with shivering when galloping is a hassle.

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So yes, please give me a heavy coat when subject to freezing temperatures. Something Vetements understands very well. Even the wadded milletcoats from the eighties can still learn a trick or two. And even though I look like the Michelinman, at least my spaghetti sticks (arms) and slender torso look now every bit as good as those tough musclemen in the gym. On the contrary, even Rambo has become teeny weeny.

My Hilarious View On Winter Fashion 2017 - LifeStyleTalks

Once, I gave a hairdresser carte blanche. The result was more or less disappointing. I looked like a plucked chicken. Yet no need to worry with this feather dress of Balenciaga. Although people keep telling me – to the point of boredom – I have fleas.

If there’s one thing I can guarantee, it’s that this Saint Laurent suit will even get your toughest client as gentle as a lamb. Even without a whip. I’m telling you, yesterday a customer saw me in this black power look and he was about to make a run for it. Well, I did forget to put on my skirt.

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Een bericht gedeeld door VETEMENTS (@vetements_official) op

Now, aren’t these boots made for walking? I sincerely believe that with these specimens right under my bird’s nest, I don’t really need a skirt. What do you think? A piece of cloth? Or not?

I think I will leave it as it is. Not only do I keep dry when I go fly fishing, the emission of odorous and other toxic gases is also ensured.

Fashion is art. All pictures shown are for illustration purpose only. It is by no means my intention to offend anyone. I just want to put a smile on people’s faces. Because laughing is good for one’s health.


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